Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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