he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
