I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
