People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I fill condoms, not promises.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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