so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
