Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
