so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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