And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
