sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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