My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
