Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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