they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
