My liver just broke up with me...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
