Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
