dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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