Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
