My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
