woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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