idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
