you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
