i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
