He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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