it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
