so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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