What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm like, not good at living.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
