I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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