Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
