I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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