You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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