did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
