dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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