I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
