we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
