There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
