somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
