dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
