No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
