i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
