Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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