if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
