D3 body, D1 cock
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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