no. you can't hotbox the world.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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