you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
