hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
