Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
