I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
