And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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