Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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