tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
