Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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