Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just pynch a tree in the face
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
