So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
